2020-9-20

14-year-old at bedtime:

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I feel bad and I just take it out on you. It's not because of you. It's just because you're there.

 

2020-10-20

14-yr-old: You said we were mistakes.

Me: I said you were accidents.

14-yr-old: These are the same things.

Me: No they are not. Accidents can be lovely like you and your sibling.

14-yr-old: My sibling is like an onion.

Me: what?

14-yr-old: She’s an onion. You don’t want to be close to her. When she opens up, you want to cry.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

2019-5-29

Mom's reading a novel, and the 13-year-old walked in to the room.

Mom: If you find yourself really liking a girl like you never felt before, and then find out that she's from a family that emphasizes their high social class as being the top 5% of the world, what would you do?

13-yr-old: I would eat duck, eat skittles, and drink orange juice.

Mom: What about the girl? Would you do anything about her - persist, give up or ?

13-yr-old: Eat my duck.

Mom: If you find yourself really liking a girl like you never felt before, and then find out that she's from a family that has lots of complicated issues, what would you do?

13-yr-old: Eat my duck, eat skittles, drink orange juice, and play video games.

 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

Since a friend's sudden passing in December 2017, I have not touched this blog till now. There were so many feelings that I needed time to process in solitude, the shock at the loss of a vibrant life, the inexplicable feelings about time gone, etc. etc. Eventually I just kept reading novels, immersing in and learning from others' stories and experiences, keeping life simple. Time doesn't stop for anything or anyone, so aging goes on and kids grow, now looking taller than me.

These toddler days in Michigan in 2008-2011, especially in comparison with their current stage of teenage growth, seem so idyllic and far away like a dream.

We just came back from a wedding in Michigan, now in May 2019, 11 years after we moved there for our postdocs. We arrived in Ann Arbor two days prior to the wedding in order to visit all the places we frequented for family activities including the botanic garden and arboretum, Huron River Park, and places we lived.

We really missed the sunflowers in front of our old place and along the road to the Domino's farm. However, none remains today.

Wonder why they got rid of these beautiful summer companions, which now only live in our memories and images.

The farm house remains, but the grassland is now mostly taken up by new development.

And we didn't see blue sky during our short stay.

There are so many cute memories from that period of time, but it was also a very stressful stage in life as we strived to support the family with postdoc income and balance the need to work for future career and to spend time with growing toddlers and then preschooler and kindergartener. Now as we look back as they are in full swing of their teenage years, there's so much nostalgia. In these Michigan years I felt that I did my best to really take them around to be part of diverse family cultural and educational activities and diverse circles of friends. The thing is, during this visit, it became apparent that, the kids forgot almost all of that!!! They explained that their brians have had to make room for all the new things they have had to learn.

As if these then and now comparisons of Michigan times weren't emotional enough, the nephew's wedding was immensely emotional bordering shocking for both hubby and me. When we first started dating, we met his oldest brother's first son, who was a baby then. He sat with us at the wedding, now a handsome healthy 26-year-old. When we were both doing our Masters programs, we visited the oldest brother's family and the sister-in-law was pregnant with the second one. She walked around with us at that late stage of pregnancy to prepare for his birth, and surely he came out 2 days after we left. Now he's getting married, this promising young 23-year-old, while we felt his baby days seemed like yesterday!

Don't know how our lifetime goes by like flowing water.

 

 

文章標籤
Family #howtheyearsgoby reflection

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

February 16, 2018 Chinese New Year

Mom to 11-yr-old: Your head seems much bigger, almost the size of mine.

13-yr-old: But too bad there's not much inside, just fluff.

Mom to 11-yr-old (glaring at 13-yr-old): Your head seems to have grown.

13-yr-old (sniggering): It is swollen with his ego.

 

December 3, 2017

11-year-old: Mom, if someone asks you not to speak, you should say "This is my last word." and then keep talking, as long as you don't say the word "word." Haha I'm so smart.

 

December 2, 2017

11-year-old: This is a really good book.

Mom: What makes it so good?

11-year-old: Because it has a lot of deaths and stuff.

Mom:

 

November 27, 2017

11-year-old: I want A LOT OF gifts this xmas.

Mom: Is it because you were speaking to your friend and was jealous of the gifts he got?

11-year-old: Yes, only jealous about the gifts.

Mom: I'm jealous of your good look.

11-year-old: What do you need good look for? You already got a life companion! (!)

 

 

October 2017

11-year-old: J (his best friend) will get a HPV shot not because he's sexually active, but he said it's in case he gets raped. I told him he won't get raped. He said but, and I said no but.

 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

▲top

之前用MacBook的Safari怎麼都進不了自己的部落格帳號,真是嚇到了,擔心之前所有資料都遺失了.雖然沒有什麼特別的文章,但是小朋友過去說的話一點一滴,在他們成長的這麼快的時候,總是覺得很珍貴.

 

暑假已經過完了現在是秋天.IMG_5489  

IMG_5504  

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving.

What we're thankful for --

11-yr-old: presents, video games, food, and books

13-yr-old: education, literature, technology, family, friends, life itself

mom: family including aunties, where we are, house, work

dad: family, health, work & house

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

The 13-yr-old and the 11-yr-old have been fighting in the summer time. Before the younger left for camping for 3 days:

11-yr-old: I hope you get blown up!

13-yr-old: I hope you get eaten by a bear!

Mom: 

IMG_5343  Park in the early summer

文章標籤
Family

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

2017-5-11 at night past bedtime

Kids: We want to watch the cartoon (as per every night on "Our Family") before bed!

Mom: It's too late today!

10-yr-old: Tonight is the last night you can hang out and watch the cartoon with me as a 10-year-old!

12-yr-old: YES YES! last night of him as a 10-yr-old.

Mom: ok.

 

*****

At bedtime

Soon-to-be-11-yr-old: I'm going to be 11! I want to be 10, no, 8!

Mom: I miss it so much when you were little.

Him: Time passes too fast!

Mom to self (over these past couple years): 我實在很難想像當年的小baby現在已經快要變成一個青少年了,天哪!!!!!!

  

 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

4-17-2017

Me: You took the most cheesy part of the bread!!

12-year-old: (licked through the piece) Yup.

 

10-30-2016

10-yr-old was playing and jumping in parents room.

Mom: "Did you just fart?"

10-yr-old: "heeheehee." (Walking out of the door and closing the door) "Closing the door so the smell doesn't go..."

 

2-11-2016

From 11-yr-old to mom:

If you split up with dad and found someone else you liked, and he came to our place to live, I would glare at him, give him a lot of attitudes, and treat him like a scum. But that's not gonna happen. If it did happen, I would treat him worse than what I said.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

Nails

Today the soon-to-be-12-yr-old, sitting in the washroom when mom made her cut her nails, suddenly confessed:

"Everytime I cut my nails I would feel a little guilty because I remembered that once two years ago, I was angry at my brother and I was out for revenge. So when I cut my nails I did it in his room and spread my cut nails all over his floor in his room. That night, he was jumping over the floor saying how the floor was prickly. It was really funny to me at that time but ever since I felt guilty about it."

 

Booger

Mom asked the soon-to-be-10-yr-old to make a confesstion too now big sister did one. He said he has a lot of it but he won't. Mom made him do one.

"A long time ago I was very very mad at big sister, so I got booger out of my nose and put it on my sister's pillow. Don't tell her."

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

Today we went to Mill Hill for a walk. Mill Hill has a very steep hill, but after getting through it the view at the top is nice.

When the car arrived at the park parking lot,

Mom: Did anyone else bring water?

Kids: No, too heavy.

Mom: How can you not bring water for a walk?

Kids: You brought it.

Mom: Not for all. (to dad) Would you take it on the walk?

Dad: No it's an hour walk, no need to bring it.

Mom: Ohhhh. (started to drink water from the bottle before the walk.)

(Dad tried to grab the water and the 9-yr-old got in between to shield mom. Mom felt heartwarming that the young child was helping.)

9-yr-old: No touching. It's all for me!

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

One day in Cirrellion City a guy called Chad was washing the dishes in his small apartment building. He did not like it there because it was very small. He also had to sleep with his little brother Coco. Coco always screamed at his teddy bear because he thought it stole his gummy bears but actually he ate them without knowing. Their mom was really awesome exept that she slept a lot. It was very rare when she was walking around. She was nice because she gave special treats when Chad least expected it. Then there was his dad who was mostly working. He worked at the plumbing toilet factory. It was a very common job. You just go around to a house and plumb around and unplug it. There family had two pets, one was a cat and one was a parrot. The cat was always chasing the parrot.

While he was washing the dishes he heard a clunk sound. It was very loud, then Coco ran right up to him and said that somebody had dropped his own ipod. He yelled ''what the heck Coco'' and stormed out of the room, the onn he did not hear was "somebody" . His cheeks were all red and it looked like he was a explouding volcano ! He was very angry.    

 

(To Be Continued)

 

Coco was sad because he was not the one who dropped it. It was Chad' s best friend Gerald. Gerald was actually a theif but no one new that. A lot of people liked Gerald and never thought that it was him. A lot of people were complaining about there things being stolen. They all thought it was a boy named Stormy because all he ever did was bully people. Gerald wanted to steal Chad's ipod but accidentally knocked it over. Chad picked up his broken ipod and thought I do not think Coco would do that because he has never done anything like that before. Then he saw the open window and thought to himself, I thought I closed this window earlier. Then he saw a piece of a ripped cloth  and said is'nt this Gerald' s shirt? Then he thought this was the only shirt he had seen in this whole city and it was on Gerald...

(To Be Continued)

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • 個人分類：Fun
▲top

Today at lunch I played hockey and  hurt my hand. It was when X accidentally slid his hockey stick right up mine and both of our sticks clashed against my hand. It hurt a lot. X said sorry but G said i faked it till i showed him my huge cut. We had assembly because M is leaving the school.. He has been working at our school for over 8 years . I can not believe that N is in Mexico! He gets a lot of sun and we get clouds and rain. I also want him to come back soon because he does not know that M is leaving the school. He will be sad because N likes M. He will be like this. He would not like to hear the news. J has been very quit but he keeps saying he is fine. Something is going on with him. It is weird.

  

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

Blogger will end in December, something I've known since the summer. This morning the sudden realization of the coming of November made me get to it right away. Thank goodness it's not horribly hard to move the blog content as I don't have that many.

DSCN7596  

The previous blog name Bamboo Pavilion will not be used here. Life on the Island subtitle still applies. Will keep documenting life bits here from the beautiful Pacific coast.

DSCN8872  

Summer has past and we're entering Autumn with falling temperature and leaves.

文章標籤
Family

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
The younger one (3rd grader going to 4th grade):
I want to have N or J over for a play date. I also want to blow something up like a water balloon. I will also want to travel and  play tricks on M (sibiling like tricks). 

The older one (going to 6th grade):
I would like to visit Seattle and Vancouver. I also want to swim with my friends and have play dates. I would like to go to the beach early in the morning at low tide.I would like to stay up late with my family and watch movies and play boardgames. I would also like to go to sailing camp and learn to sail.
文章標籤
Family

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
June 2015
Recently mom found a yummy yeast-rising waffle mix recipe that makes crispy waffles, so yummy that the kids eat a lot of them and our waffle iron is now used almost daily.
 
Before family film watching evening,
Mom: The waffle mix needs to be made the night before. Let's not eat it tomorrow morning as it's late and I don't want to make it.

During family film watching break,
Mom: Let's make the waffle mix tonight so we can have it for breakfast tomorrow.
Dad: You said not tonight.
Soon-to-be-11-year-old: It's because she saw the food in the film and now she wants it.
Mom: You're so smart!
Soon-to-be-11-year-old: That's because I'm that way too. I want to eat it when I see it.

May 2015
The younger one just turned 9 year old, and the older one will turn 11 next month.

Late May
Kids playing with friends family
Mom: Where are your sister and her friend?
9-yr-old: I turned them into flies!!

Friday 16 May 
The younger one: She's nice to daddy, to mommy, to Coco and Kiki.
Dad and Mom: She's not nice to you?
The younger one: She spends a quarter of her time scolding me.



honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
After almost one year of missing Snowball, we thought we might try getting a kitten again because 10-year-old kept saying that she would love one of her own to care for. Snowball was 5 when she was born, so she felt that did not have her own kitty.

We started looking at the beginning of Christmas holidays, and put in two applications. The first kitten was a shy one so the society didn't want a family with kids for it. The second one we were simply too slow - the day after it was posted when we saw it the kitty was already adopted. 

Another pet adoption society showed on facebook so I checked it and saw a bunch of black kittens. The bios were very detailed so I found a female kitten I liked. The bio indicated that this kitten always followed her brother who shouldn't be left alone so he needed to go to a family that are mostly around. We asked to see both kitties and the kids really enjoyed meeting and playing with them. The 8-year-old demonstrated really good skills to hold the whole litter of 4 one by one and the kittens were all so cute. We thus put in an application for both kitties -- the kids wrote first and I helped with revision, completion and sending. After the Christmas break was over, a volunteer phoned to speak about the applications for 36 minutes. 3 days later we heard that we're approved for the kittens.

Last Friday early evening, the evening before we lost Nonie for one year, we picked up the two purring kitties. They were kept in the safe room downstairs where everything they needed was there for one evening before they came out the next day. Hubby put a camera in there and the two were wrestling and playing in there. On Saturday we couldn't agree on their names. I was proposing Obi One and Obi Two, or R2 and D2, Thing 1 and Thing 2, and bun and meat bun etc., 10-year-old wants earl and mocha, and 8-year-old and dad wanted soccer stars' names. In the afternoon when I was replying a colleague friend's message, I mentioned we got the kittens. She asked if we were going to name the kittens after her and another colleague friend. I asked her if I should, since we really couldn't agree. She suggested Kiki (girl) and Coco (boy), and all four family members agreed right away, so now we're working to get them to know it's their names.
Coco really likes this spot in the kitchen

The two kittens are very different from Snowball. They were born in late September 2014, and are now 4 months old. When they first came Kiki kept wanting to hide. They were well cared for in a foster home so they do not use their claws on anyone. They let the kids hold them for a long time and purr very loudly. Coco likes following people and Kiki likes following him. Coco would gently move your hand to pat him, and Kiki loves being held up and stretching all four little legs - she even fell asleep like that in 10-year-old's arms. Both kids think they are so cute, while their dad sulks a lot and thinks it's a lot of work long-term. The kids have taken up a lot of work esp. cleaning the litter box. I was sitting and reading, and Kiki came over so I picked her up and held her. She was then taken by the 10-year-old to groom. Afterwards she came back and jumped to the space behind my back and put her paws gently on top of my back so I held her again. I really appreciate their gentleness. Their growing up with the kids help them get used to kids' patting and holding, and the kids are learning about how to care for them best as big brother and big sister. Pray for health and happiness for long years to come for all.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
First in 2014
Family lost a kitty, bred chicks and went to Japan and Tofino.

Dad: worked on a project for license application
Mom: went to a distant country alone for work
10-yr-old: starting viola
8-yr-old: starting guitar, going to Bainbridge Island, getting a tooth pulled out,

What we have to be thankful for 2014

Dad: family, friends, healthy and .... 

Mom: everything; even though certain things were difficult in 2014, they can be now good life lessons to draw from

10-yr-old: family, happiness of discovering new things like what I can do, and of rising to a new level, and of knowing that my hard work is cherished, love, and new clothes

8-yr-old: my comfy bed, new clothes - my sweater, my friends, books, electronics (mom >_<), fresh air, hiking, our place

New hope for 2015
For self -
Dad: family health; leave a sticky situation for 5 min. and calm down

Mom: regular exercise; stay positive (8-yr-old: mommy is already positive)

10-yr-old: more time to focus on Chinese work (got an 80 on test which is an F for her, it's because of lack of concentration); work on viola; take deep breaths before handling a situation and ignore those who bother me

8-yr-old: doing more math and writing to be the best at writing and math; grow bigger and get better at soccer; become techi in class; stop pouncing on sister; be more organized

For family -
For Daddy:
control his temper and don't scare and threaten us when we disagree with him; stop looking at computer and get outside; control his volume; stop wearing boxer pants in front of windows; have better mood in the morning; get rid of the tooth-shaped hair patch on forehead; stop snoring; stop drinking coffee everyday (dad: no way); stop making faces

For Mommy:
(from 8-yr-old) eat more things faster; open more things (like chocolate potato chips); don't pick teeth; stop using my towel to cover herself when brushing teeth; buy a new bathrobe to wear and not wear mine; let us play Mario once a day (Mom's response: don't even think during the week); stop putting on ghost mask; stop being afraid of cold
(from 10-yr-old) to *always* listen to us with more explanation; stop chewing finger
(from dad) exercise more

For 10-yr-old:
(from 8-yr-old) stop wearing glasses every meal of the day; stop staring at me; stop being mad after getting out of bed in the morning; stop having nightmares about stealing your cake and stop screaming at me at night; stop putting up feet at dining table and stop kicking me; stop stealing chocolates from cupboard; stop reading every single minute of everyday; stop disliking your brother's presents; stop putting wart on my face; stop making kids run after me; stop sitting on daddy; stop trying to annoy me; stop taunting me for eating candies
(from mom) clean and organize your own space; be confident and understand that you don't need to please anyone;
(from dad) be organized; be nice to parents and stop attitudes; drink water; don't yell at family; plan ahead


For 8-yr-old:
(from mom) stop chewing fingers/thumbs; quit candy; eat only healthy snacks and always brush teeth; always stay responsible and polite
(from dad) good attitude; be more confident in playing sports;
(from 10-yr-old) stop breaking promises; stop annoying me; find something to do when feeling bored; stop doing disgusting things; stop imitating swords men or pointing finger guns at me; try to keep words all the time; stay loyal to family; be more honest


Happy New Year of 2015
From Hurricane Ridge. Somehow it looks a bit fake here, but it's real

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
  • Sep 26 Fri 2014 12:53

  • Looks

Recently the 10-year-old likes to say "Mom you're pretty" or "Mom you look perfect." My response would be "Looks change, and what's inside is most important" or "you're prettier and smarter than me." This conversation has been happening routinely these days. 

But does look/the way we present ourselves matter?

Was just reading a book about work efficiency and amazingly, instead of all about work itself, it dedicates a chapter to human interactions and relations. One section talks about the importance of paying attention to how we look and present our looks, and sloppy dressers usually achieve less success. I really think it depends on circumstances and is not always the case.

But it reminds me of one instance that I experienced. In my college senior year, we had a small-sized English Composition class, and the teacher was an older man. He did not give the impression as someone who cared about his looks very much and didn't dress neatly. One day we had to talk -- I forgot the context, maybe teacher-student conference time or just about some homework. He suddenly said, "do you know what impression you gave me? I think you're a sloppy student who doesn't pay enough attention to study and are a sloppy dresser." I was so shocked to be called a sloppy dresser by someone I considered a sloppy dresser.

When I started teaching, I started noticing that I did have to watch how I dress so students didn't take me as another student. Now I do pay attention to how I dress on days when I have to meet people.

Good looks are beyond our control unless we're willing to go through surgical procedure. I do feel that some people can get away with not paying attention to their looks and outfit while others cannot. This work tip about how we present ourselves is interesting where it says the way you dress actually is a factor in the success rate of your project getting approved.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
This is the first time I'm away from the kids for a 16-day work trip. We skyped every or every other day.

The just-turned-8-yr-old: Mom, I miss you lots.
Mom: I miss you too! I haven't had someone to kiss for so long.
8-yr-old: Kiss yourself!
--------------
10-yr-old: Fashion to me is elegant dresses that have silk ruffles on the bottom, and when you want to you can take it off and put on agile clothes you can run in. They can't have too many sequins or ruffles. They have to be easy to put on, and be made with the best material like mud silk.
--------------
Q: What makes you happy?

8-yr-old: Mom!
(Mom: You're not happy when mommy tells you to do things.)
10-yr-old: Remember that image of a girl using a chalk to draw a mother on the ground and she lay in the middle of it? I wish all orphans in this world can find good parents.
--------------
The 8-yr-old burst into tears when 10-yr-old commented he liked purple smoothies.
Mom: What's the best way to respond to her teasing?
8-yr-old: Tape her mouth.
--------------
Q: What kind of person would you like to become?
10-yr-old: a famous marine biologist that discovers a way for humans to breath under water; have two children and a husband. The children are twins, one boy and one girl who get along well though sometimes squabble. I would like to be a famous scientist and teach students about the ocean. I would retire early and live in a cozy little cottage by the ocean and the forest. I would also like to travel around  the world. I would be a confident, brave, strong, and athletic person. 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Easter long weekend in Canada is coming, but the forecast shows rain throughout the time off >_<

Over the long weekend, it didn't rain everyday, some rain, some switching between cloud and rain and sunshine, and lots of wind. We did dinner with friends one night, movie night out once and in (with projector) once, easter family event, a walk with friends, and another walk in the wind. Next year we should go to church.

Last night was the closing time of the 4-day weekend, and each kid came to find me separately and said to me "I don't want to go to school." Even this morning the younger one came in and said he didn't want to go and he had a headache. I was on skype with auntie who could tell he just didn't want to go to school ^_^ After school he said the school went well. This morning around the bridge there was congestion and we were lined up because of the closure of a street across from the bridge. The kids were late for 10 min. and I went into work 15 min. later than usual (because they usually get dropped after me) but today many of their classmates who live on our side of the bridge were also late. The older one also shared that one of her classmate's car went out of gas in the traffic and had to get a tow truck and gas before getting to school, and the process took an hour. 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Entering the 40s, parents who are still around are aging, and their circle of friends, aunts and uncles that we have known growing up are aging as well.

We go visit family every other year now as we save for airplane tickets carefully. This time, I saw a friend much less than the last time because her 100-yr-old grandfather was in hospital -- hopefully was getting out soon but not yet at that point. Another friend burst into tears on the phone because her father was sick, and I could not ask what and it sounded serious :( Dad and step mom's colleague who was my brother's tutor attacked his wife and was checked into a facility. Dad and bro went to visit him, and he seemed nice but went around about his issues with wife and could not come out of the circle.

We used to always sit down to a lunch with an aunt and uncle, whom dad and step mom said they contacted a month ago but heard nothing back. I phoned and the aunt said she was not doing well and could not speak to me, and said she'd contact me when she could. We did not hear from her again before we left. Then dad suddenly wrote and said the uncle past away. I was so shocked and got hubby to phone the auntie again. She said it's been a bit over a year and she spent the last year in the U.S. to get over it but still cannot. She didn't tell anyone and still does not wish to talk about it. I'm still in shock that the uncle was gone and feel concerned for the auntie. 

One goal of Buddhism is to transcend mundane lives by seeing through the suffering in birth, aging, sickness and death. It's never easy but we have to learn to live with in peace.

9 April, 2014
Hubby spoke to auntie on the phone and we were concerned about her, but my mind was blank. After writing the part above I went to bed. In the morning I woke up at 6am and wrote another journal entry. But when I left the car and walked towards work, I suddenly remembered that when I was a little kid, uncle and auntie got married, and found it quite hard to greet colleagues as usual. When I walked to the elevator, being alone, I felt the real sadness coming. At this moment the boss's boss came in. He took one look at me and asked what's wrong, and I burst into tears. I explained quickly, and he asked why I came to work. I was so blank last night that I didn't know what would happen when it hit me. He suggested that I do not go to meetings, just shut in my office and have some quiet moments. It was really good advice since I could not handle public but can work a bit and spoke to most trusted colleague friend about work and this. One told me that her mother lost a son and wanted to give up life, but survived and had 3 more children. I stopped and went over to the kids school to see them. They asked me why I went over, and I said I just missed them. They gave me a hug when hearing that, and then asked 'really, why did you come?' I said really, just missed you and wanted to see you.

I remember as a preteen I had the anxiety that things are beautiful and the young age was childhood but I didn't know the best way to cherish and use the time. Did I ever just live the moment and focus all my energies on the present second/moment without worrying/thinking about some imperfections or things I wish were better? I'm sure I did, such as when traveling in Tokyo. How can I do it though in the every moment of every day?

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Once upon a time there was an airplane with no wings. His friends always laughed at him. He was very lonely. One day  he decided to change that but he did not know how .He asked his mom and she said ignore. Jake tried but(Jack is the airplane with no wings) it did not work. One day Jack decided to stand up for himself once and for all. So he said I don't care what ever you say what ever you say is what you are! Then his friends stopped teasing him. He lived happily ever after.                                                        





                                                          The 
                                                                   End


honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
It's been a week since Nonie left this world.  Last Friday was a beautiful sunny day, but I cried so much that my face still looks quite ancient this whole week (or maybe it's just always that ancient) with the weight in my mind.  During the course of the past week it was raining or cloudy, but today is another beautiful sunny day.  When I walked into my room I sometimes expected to see her curling up in a ball in the middle of my comforter on my bed like before.  When I heard something heavier drop, I wondered if she was jumping off a higher surface ungracefully.  We can usually find strands of her long white fur on our clothes, and when we went out the usual instinct was to remove the fur when we saw it on clothes.  But now it takes a couple seconds to register: this is Nonie's beautiful fur, and if we don't keep it there will be no more...  Last night we brought her ashes in a bamboo box home.

Today is the Chinese New Year's Day.  It's wonderful to see the sunshine, and we really need to cherish our time on this planet and hopefully do something constructive and contributing to the wellbeing of the lives on and of this world.

(cny2) (cny5) (cny3)
Happy Chinese New Year of Horse!!

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Snowball/Nonie was born in July 1999.  I adopted her as a second year graduate student in a doctoral program when she was about 6 weeks old.  At the time I was living in a small cottage, and my neighbor, a girl originally from Singapore, adopted her brother Cotton Ball, who was also pure white and the biggest difference between Snowball and Cotton Ball was that Nonie had long white fur and Cotton ball's was short.  The two of them would be playing together like two fuzzy balls, really really cute.  At that age I did not have a digital camera, so most of her photos were prints.  I moved to the cottage across from the original place for an extra room, and it was so nice because Nonie loved to climb the pine tree in front of the small cottage.  I would like to post those photos digitally at some point for memory -- white fluffy kitty against brown bark, green trees and blue sky in the American Southwest.  In 2002 she moved with me to Texas -- we drove 4.5 hours on the UHaul, and she continued meowing loudly in protest for 2 hours non-stop before losing her voice.  We settled into the new place -- a cute small one-bedroom apartment in a heritage building quite nicely.  In 2004 the first child was born, and Nonie and I really learnt to get used to baby noises.
2005
In 2006 the second child was born, and Nonie had to learn to toughen it up a bit. 
She then moved with us to the Midwest, and enjoyed seeing all the autumn leaves and snow,

2011
and then to the Pacific coast.
2013
At the end of November, Snowball (Nonie) started excess drooling, and as a white kitty she has always cleaned herself quite well so she also attempted to control drooling.  
On November 30 I took some photos, in two of them she was licking, but we did not realize that her licking was a sign of the beginning of the illness.  I got her a new blanket to make a nest in our room but mostly she has other favorite spots.
At the beginning it was clear drool, but somehow drooling left bits of black stain on her right chin.  We wondered about it and sometimes tried to clean her a bit because she likes to stay clean.  
watching a film projected on the wall with us recently 
One of her favorite spots: in the middle of the down comforter; because of the color, she surprised hubby and the younger boy often when they approached the bed without realizing she was there.
On January 11, 2014, Saturday night, however, a bit of blood was mixed in her drool and shocked us.  On Sunday morning, we took her to the only vet we could find open on Sunday.  The vet thought it was either a dental issue which requires complete dental cleaning, or a tumor which in most cases would be malignant.  We decided to put her on antibiotics on January 13, to see if it's a dental issue or something uncontrollable.  Within a week, however, more blood came out of the right side of her mouth, and she could barely eat.  At this point I asked my colleague who's been around here for a long time for a trustworthy vet, and he recommended a cat clinic.  We took her on the following day on January 20 to see a vet.  The experienced vet identified the problem as carcinoma (鱗狀細胞癌), a very aggressive kind of cancer that is painful for cats.  I burst into tears and cried, even though we both had a feeling that it was not something with easy fix.  

January 21    Currently we are working with palliative care, following the vet's instructions to give her two kinds of pain relief and one antibiotic treatment.  I spoke to a couple colleagues who had experiences of losing their beloved pets before.  We are still grappling with it and wonder how to say goodbye, and how to let her know how much we love her.

On January 23, even with the pain medication she cannot eat.  She still walked upstairs from the basement to try the cat grass a bit but didn't touch her food.  We are waiting to speak to the vet right now in the beautiful sunny morning of January 24.

January 24, Noon: the vet thought she's in pain, especially it seems like it has got to the bones.  She thought if it's her cat she would think it's time, but left the decision to us.  I asked about the amount of pain Nonie is currently suffering, and the vet thought it's quite a lot when the bones are hurting.  We made an appointment for later this afternoon, and I am looking up to find ways to help us get through this and say good bye. 

Afternoon: we shared the vet's opinion with the kids and encouraged them to say goodbye.  It was a heartbreaking moment.  The younger one fell on the pile of pillows next to Nonie and couldn't stop crying, just like I did in the morning after the conversation with the vet.  The older one had to go to a class so we checked with friends and one of them came right away to stay with the younger one when we went to drop off the older one at her class and to the vet clinic.  
On the way

We stayed with Nonie throughout the process, during which the vet did a very good job of keeping it a very calm and peaceful and quiet process.  We are very grateful to this vet because when I looked up about this disease there were situations where vets didn't get the diagnoses correct and the animals had to suffer lots through tests and wrong treatments.  The tumor in Nonie's mouth grew rapidly in the last 10 days that surprised even the vet. 
Nonie, rest in peace.  Our prayers and love go with you.  You always live in our hearts. 
To Snowball (1999-2014)

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top

Notes of conversation b/w mom and kids
 
During late summer when we were on a road trip, I lost my voice and couldn't speak.  So I had to write what I wanted to say on the macbook and the older one read it out loud to the younger one.  
 
Aug. 19, 2013 
Tomorrow morning you’ll go to public library. After that we’ll have lunch at a café next to the library or get takeout. After that we’ll have 1 and half hours drive from Williams Lake to Quesnel. On the way you both need to read classics to mom.
 
There are many times you slept inside and you had that many pillows too
Otherwise he’ll bump into the wood at night – you had the same thing when you were in hotels before!
 
Why did you hit his butt?     He annoys me.
So it’s okay for you to use violence.   No.
You act like it’s okay     - I know.
Don’t forget to fill the waterbottle tomorrow morning before leaving.
Use your lips to try a bit before drinking!!!
 
Do you want to take walks tomorrow morning?
Go to bed then!
 
If you cannot go to bed without a fight, you need to go home with dad tomorrow.
7 yr-old's note to self
dear me Merry Christmas and a Happy new Year!What do you think i will have for a present (reply) I do not think i will get any presents because i fought with my sister.    12/17/13 december 17 tuesday 2013
 

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
I don't want to start all posts with "Time flies."  It is so scary at times to see how fast it has gone by for sure.  In July I had a painful "small oral surgery" that hurt me for at least 2.5 weeks while the dentist originally said only would leave me sore for a weekend :(((  In August because of work travel and essay deadline I didn't have much rest and my voice was gone.  In September it took weeks before my voice came back so I slowed down.  

In the new school year, the two kids started piano because the 9-yr-old wants to learn flute and the 7-yr-old guitar, and the piano teacher friend suggested that one year of piano helps paving the way for learning all musical instruments.  The teacher is originally from Russia and has been teaching the kids to use the soft hands.  They continue their Chinese school, but soon the 7-yr-old quit so he could participate in Saturday soccer games now that he starts going to practice on Mondays. The 9-yr-old also started girl guides, but hasn't stepped up to her job of selling cookies except in two occasions where we took her to Marathon and the second time neighborhood. At the Marathon so many people were there but the 9-yr-old didn't speak up. She eventually sold most of the 2 cases (12 boxes in one case and $5 for each box) because some people would tell her she's cute and buy cookies from her. 

Speaking of girl guides cookies, the 9-yr-old's previous teacher said she sold those as a young girl and it was $.75 a box.  The friend who's now 25 yrs old said it was $2 per box when she had to sell it. 

Piano lessons and Chinese homework take a lot of practices and that's where I admire those tiger moms who can supervise their kids day to day and month after month. 

This morning the 7-yr-old suddenly said to me "I wish it were winter break already. I need a break." I ask him why, and he said "I am stressed out." We were in a hurry to get to school so I didn't get to check further. On our way back home, I asked him what that was about. It turned out that a classmate is  out of control, and it creates tension in the class which was normally under control by the experienced teacher who is now on sick leave because of injured knee. Really hope she will get well and come back to the class soon.

The 9-yr-old has worts on her hands, and fungus feet, and sometimes doesn't brush her teeth thoroughly. I kept telling her that she does look very cute, but she needs better hygiene habits -- she doesn't listen and follow the instructions very well. 

Last night my macbook fell on my foot and it's sporting a bluepurple and swollen patch. A couple colleagues think I should go get it checked, but hubby thinks I'll be okay. Limping across work place is a bit embarrassing.  The best friend said the silver lining is that my foot saved my macbook arghhhhhh. I miss having best friends around.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Kids 17 August 2013

7-yr-old:
My favorite part of the day was going swimming, and went to have Dim Sum with two elders.  We were starving at that time and it was really good; bun was really good, and mini egg custard was good too.  It was so good that I flew away.  My mom went to photocopy my classics chapters.  The end.

My least favorite part of the day was when sister hit daddy in the head in the morning.

Tomorrow it depends on what I'm going to do.


9-yr-old:
Eating dim sum with two elders, and eating salty dumpling (a dim sum item) was so good.  And playing with V (3-yr-old neighbor girl) and reading a book to her.

My least favorite part of the day was when 7-yr-old didn't trust me in the game and wouldn't even talk to me.

Look forward to making a birthday card for V.


Mommy in addition to prepare for the trip has been working on a new short article which takes a lot of time.

Daddy's favorite part of the day is eating dim sum and exercise.


--------------------
29 October 2013
7-yr-old:
The best part of my day was carving my pumpkin.
The part I like the least was when we roasted pumpkin seeds which were too salty.
(Mom: your wrongdoing scolded by daddy wasn't the least favorite part?
7-yr-old: no.)

9-yr-old:
The favorite part was doing wet land wraps with a partner - a boy who's the same age as me.
The least favorite part of my day was falling off picnic table and hitting my head.
(Mom: your wrongdoing scolded by daddy wasn't the least favorite part?
9-yr-old: no. head hurting was the worse part.)

Mommy:
The best part of my day was reading novels :b
The least favorite part of my day was to have to tell the kids not to find excuses

Daddy:
The best part of my day was focusing on learning new program writing.
The least favorite part of my day is when the kids didn't play the piano well because they didn't focus and played too fast.


honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Jealousy
8-yr-old: I like to be jealous. It gets me more attention.

Younger one on turning 7
He: Dudley received 33 gifts for his birthday!
me: Oh well that's not environmentally friendly.
He: knew you'd say that. My favorite part today is -- lightsaber!

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Mom (M) to 7-yr-old (7) across the hall (Other than getting up for breakfast bun, has simply stayed in bed curled up reading): What are you doing?
7:     pooping.
M:   You need to turn on the fan and close the door!
7:     I did both but I didn't turn on the washroom light. Come on and turn it on for me!
M:   Do it yourself!
7:     I can't right now!
M:   Yes you can!
.... (The sound of water turning on and off -- to prevent tissue paper waste, we ask them to wash their bum after pooping at home when no one is in a hurry -- and the kiddo immediately walked out.)
M:   You're done? Did you wipe?
7:    Yes I did.
M:   Good.
7:     Actually I used your towel to wipe because my towel is not there.
M:   OH NO!
7:    hehehehehe.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
Last year when the younger one turned 6 and entered first grade, I had a sudden realization that my cute little chubby toddlers are now big kids, no longer chubby or small enough to fit into my arms and shoulders in an embrace.  I felt a strong nostalgia for their young chubby arms and little selves and used their toddler photos for my laptop background. 

This year as the older one is turning 9 on her birthday in the end of June, I started looking for gifts when a friend suggested a website A Mighty Girl. It came just in time since the website recommends materials that empower the girls.  Yesterday after a week of busy conferencing and meetings I finally settle down to decide on the gifts for my soon-to-be-9-yr-old, which feels like crossing a big threshold. In literature category, she now fits "Pre-teen (9-12)".  As a third-grader, she has had a lot of new issues regarding friendship, bully, and girl/boy differences.  I found this title A Smart Girl's Guide To Friendship Trouble.  Yesterday when I checked the Mighty Girl website to select titles, this was the first choice, and I also found lots of other titles that can be helpful. Somehow this post doesn't allow me to paste more titles with web addresses right now.

Today I saw a friend post a music video with images of her little girl with her and her husband. I just watched the original music video Never Grow Up with the 8-yr-old and my tears couldn't stop -- that mother and daughter feeling of protecting her from any harm wrestles with the reality that she needs to grow up and have her own life. Eventually I wiped my tears and just said to her I guess just not to grow up too fast, and she said I love you.

honey oolong 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

▲top
1 23