February 16, 2018 Chinese New Year
Mom to 11-yr-old: Your head seems much bigger, almost the size of mine.
13-yr-old: But too bad there's not much inside, just fluff.
Mom to 11-yr-old (glaring at 13-yr-old): Your head seems to have grown.
13-yr-old (sniggering): It is swollen with his ego.
December 3, 2017
11-year-old: Mom, if someone asks you not to speak, you should say "This is my last word." and then keep talking, as long as you don't say the word "word." Haha I'm so smart.
December 2, 2017
11-year-old: This is a really good book.
Mom: What makes it so good?
11-year-old: Because it has a lot of deaths and stuff.
Mom: 
November 27, 2017
11-year-old: I want A LOT OF gifts this xmas.
Mom: Is it because you were speaking to your friend and was jealous of the gifts he got?
11-year-old: Yes, only jealous about the gifts.
Mom: I'm jealous of your good look.
11-year-old: What do you need good look for? You already got a life companion! (!)
October 2017
11-year-old: J (his best friend) will get a HPV shot not because he's sexually active, but he said it's in case he gets raped. I told him he won't get raped. He said but, and I said no but.
